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Why do you think people get annoyed at this?

Out and about in public spaces (not a place of quiet or 'respect' decorum) someone does something that is not loud but captures attention. Some people hate things that grab attention, even in appropriate settings and even when it not loud. It is considered 'rude' and it really bothers some people. I want to know your thoughts as to why.


Survey Info

29-Aug-17 12:07pmEnheduanna Survey Central Subscriber
Some people are just like that. Why are some people conservative and some liberal? Why are some shy and some outgoing? Why do some like to do things that capture attention and some don't? People are just different.
29-Aug-17 3:08pmcerealkiller
Most people want everyone to conform, not do anything unusual in public, etc. They see it as a threat even though it might be innocent behavior. I am like that.
(reply to cerealkiller)
29-Aug-17 5:57pm
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
Okay, but what seems so threatening about it?
(reply to Enheduanna)
29-Aug-17 5:59pm
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
I know they are, but I want to understand the mentality behind it. Why would they get a negative feeling by noticing someone who is quietly doing something noticeable.
29-Aug-17 6:53pmCarlHalling
It depends on what it is; if say it's someone walking past in flamboyant or provocative clothing, it wouldn't bother me at all. However, if it was intimidating, like staring angrily at people, or muttering aggressively under their breath, I'd probably move away at the nearest opportunity. But capturing attention without being aggressive does not bother me at all, in fact I might find it entertaining, and so I believe would most people; although others I agree would hate it. Some people resent any attention not being given at any give time to them and them alone.
29-Aug-17 8:44pmLindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
I think some people feel intruded upon, like they are 'forced' to notice it. They look down on 'attention seekers' because they don't like feeling forced to notice. They don't seem to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy attention seeking.
(reply to CarlHalling)
29-Aug-17 8:46pm
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
That's understandable. I think intimidating behavior is a whole different thing. Some people want to be feared, other people just want to be seen.
(reply to LindaH)
30-Aug-17 12:56pm
Enheduanna Survey Central Subscriber
What I'm saying is that it's not necessarily a mentality. It's just part of their personality. It's the same explanation for why this bugs you--you think people should be free to do what they want to do if it doesn't hurt anyone else. But why do you feel that way? It's just who you are. There's not necessarily a deeper explanation behind it.
(reply to LindaH)
30-Aug-17 1:34pm
I'm fine with it. I was a show-off in my younger days, and am happy to take a back seat in my old age and enjoy other peoples' showing off.
(reply to Enheduanna)
30-Aug-17 8:21pm
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
I can't imagine it bothering someone for no reason.
31-Aug-17 7:40amFordGuy
Because people don't like having to look up from their tiny screens.
31-Aug-17 1:36pmbill
You ask a form of this question regularly and yet never seem to get a satisfactory answer (I assume). So, I'm tempted to deconstruct it (yet again).

You assert that, "people hate things that grab attention". In my experience, this is not as clear. How do you know they hate it? Who are these people? It doesn't always happen, right? Have you tried talking to the real people who do this specifically, to directly ask them what's going on? Generalizing this situations seems problematic to me since you're talking about a huge range of possible things/people/etc.

I can speculate about these people, but we're just making up a hypothetical situation and people here. In real life, people are complicated and have all kinds of personal reasons for their reactions. They may be prone to behaving in certain ways out of habit or something. You want to know why, but I don't think there's going to be a simple answer. Also, I think many people don't get annoyed. Or wouldn't get annoyed every time.

I can try to speak for myself perhaps. I can get annoyed by something like this, I suppose. Maybe I'm in a bad mood or there's something specific that is happening that pushes my buttons. For example, when I was a kid my mom would sometimes get upset but wouldn't want to talk about it, so she'd start vacuuming the house in an agitated manner. I knew something was wrong and that she was probably angry with me, so it felt bad. Now, decades later, I can sometimes get a bad feeling when someone vacuums near me. It's a small thing, but it's enough to put me on edge and perhaps I'd get annoyed in a way that wouldn't seem to make sense to someone else. But, I have that weird reason for it deep in my psyche. And, I would assume other people have myriad other reasons for their odd/unpleasant reactions. People are complicated.

People often go around in a state of mild anxiety given work/family/relationship struggles. There's a "This is Water" speech by David Foster Wallace that gets into this. It talks about how we're all prone to these petty annoyances and yet fail to realize other people are likely experiencing them too. It's like we're all fish in a fishtank and these day-to-day anxieties are part of the water. Yet we keep having this fundamental misunderstanding over it. We're all flawed and prone to emotional reactions that are not especially relevant or helpful. Many of them happen secretly in our heads. But, they have a real impact in our life as we may get annoyed with others in part because of these inner thoughts (perhaps just out of it souring our mood a bit). So, we frown at the person drawing attention, not so much because of the person but because of other stuff going on and being a little on edge.

You seem annoyed with the people getting annoyed... why is that? Honestly, it seems like a bit of an obsession given the years of surveys. Not a big deal, I'm sure, but it's interesting. I think you could also try to see the people getting annoyed or hating the attention grabbers in a compassionate light. They likely have their reason. Those reason may seem wrong, but they are people too and deserve understanding as much as the attention grabbers.
31-Aug-17 6:02pmBiggles Bronze Star Survey Creator
I was at the theatre today. A man came in (late 70s, I would guess) and found a plastic cup on the arm of his seat with a chocolate wrapper stuffed in it. It must have been missed when the theatre was being tidied after the performance the night before. Most people would have picked it up and taken it to a bin, or put it on the floor under the seat. They might have huffed a bit while doing it, so that other people knew that they were doing something they shouldn't really have to do. Not this man. He had his coat in his hand and he used it to violently flick the cup out of the way and onto the floor in the aisle - thwack! Neither his coat nor the cup hit anyone, although he wasn't far off hitting the man behind in the face with his coat, and the cup rolled around in the aisle and got trod underfoot by others entering the theatre.

So, he didn't harm anyone, but I thought it was rude, and given the (very British) muttering of disapproval that came up from the surrounding seats, I certainly wasn't the only one. We have societal rules and if you go out in public, you need to either follow those rules, or be prepared to defend yourself when you fail to do so. There are certainly times when it is right and justified to break those rules, but "I only care about myself and I don't think the rules apply to me" doesn't really cut it.
(reply to Biggles)
31-Aug-17 7:13pm
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
Oh I'm not talking about THAT sort of attention grabbing behavior, though. I'm talking about those totally innocuous and non-controversial things, people do in fun, and surly grouches get all negative about 'attention seekers'
31-Aug-17 7:15pmJessicaRose
Those kinds of people craving for attention as some people I know
(reply to bill)
31-Aug-17 7:18pm
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
I am trying to understand those people, and can't seem to do it. There's a negative vibe about 'attention seekers' as if it's always a bad thing to do anything at all that grabs attention. Even something as small as putting their arms into their sleeves and swinging their torso to make the sleeves flap around. Those who judge that negatively....... why would they even think it was a bad thing? It seems illogical and nonsensical to me, why they even give it a second thought at all.

And I am aware a lot of people don't get annoyed. I'm guess a majority of people don't.
(reply to JessicaRose)
31-Aug-17 7:19pm
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
Anything wrong with wanting attention if you go about getting it in healthy ways?
2-Sep-17 6:26amLysannus
They are sticks in the mud.
They hate when attention is on someone else besides them.
3-Sep-17 4:41pmthey Survey Central Subscriber
I can't think of anything like this that would annoy a person.
(reply to they)
3-Sep-17 7:30pm
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
Probably just extreme grouches.
3-Sep-17 9:40pmGomezy3k
As long as they are peaceful then I see nothing wrong with it. However, if they are liberal terrorist groups like ANTIFA or BLM who riot and destroy things then I am against them and they need to be stopped.
21-Sep-17 4:48pmRhondaPurdy
Here in New York we love getting attention lots of it
21-Sep-17 5:12pmJessicaWoman99
Some people are old grumpy grouches and are stuck in their own ways they do not know how to have fun wake up and look around you

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